Sunday, March 7, 2010

Happy Unbirthday To Me

Can't seem to find my notebook with the list of interesting things I observed or partook during my hiatus. I do recall introducing my mother to the word, "shart!" She told me the other day as I was driving down her driveway, that she had some bowel problem. She's lactose intolerant and the combination of ice cream laced with Splenda, a lot of Splenda, and the cheese stix must have caused her problem. Kidding with her, I told her how much I love our little care and share moments, she then continued about her problem saying she went as far as having to change her underwear...ok, TMI, right? Nah, you know me and potty humour. I then told her she had done a "shart," and she had no idea what I was talking about so I enlightened her concerning the above word combination. Well, she laughed so hard, I told her to be careful or we would have to return home for her to change again!!! For those of my bloggy buddies who speak the Es-panich, we called that kind of gas, "!pedos acompaniados!" LOL

Another incident was a frantic call I got from my daughter earlier this week. She said she was pregnant, again! My gawd, I couldn't believe it!! She's on the birth control shot, she's still breast feeding and I think her husband is hearing a lot of "just say no!" So how could this be??!!?? Long story short, she has problems with ovarian cysts and after a long wait at the hospital and a sonogram, she had a cyst the size of a 9 week old fetus, sending out all those wonderful hormonal messages to her bod telling her she's knocked-up again, NOT!!! I can't tell you how we all were relived it was just a cyst and not a bebe. She wants more, but not right now. She was applying for teaching jobs when it hit her she needed to take a preggers test. Now this was an old test and was not in the box, so when she took the test, it gave her a positive reading, soon after followed with a smidgen of hysteria, calling her father and me, friends and finally a visit to the ER. So the girl calls me up on Thursday telling me she is a total moron! She was at the store when she saw the the box brand of the test she took. Turns out she read it wrong, no box remember, and she had misread the symbols thus complaining that she wasted $200 for nothing...yep, a big maroon

Well, now to my happy unbirthday gift for me, I decided I wanted something to celebrate having my life back...some would go out for a special meal or have that horribly decadent chocolate cheesecake or buy a diamond, etc., etc., etc. Since I will be going to the mall for daily walks, I wanted a musical devise to listen to my Lady Gaga and Bon Jovi music. My hubby bought me one after completing my B.A. 5 years ago, but now with this new fangle computer that has Windows 7, my MP3 player is a no go. Called these folks for help and it just wasn't going to happen unless I buy their drives for my hard drive....can you say, "stick it!" So I transferred money to my debit card, after I did a little research on what I could afford and met my standards, I drove down to Best Buy and bought myself 8GB Sansa Fuze by flash drive is the same brand, so I'm satisfied. I wanted to keep it under $100 and the product is, but then when the saleman suggested the 2 year warranty package, you know, protects you if you drop the bloody thing or have other little disasters with it. Before I could say anything my son, Ian, spoke up and said I am a royal clod and that I probably need that...going to send him to time out!! Plus, I remembered my poor cell phone with it's Rorschach blot on my front window...when I first dropped it, it looked like the Big Bang, but now it looks like a chicken on crack. So I gave in and bought the warranty...went over my limit, but now we're are both protected except if it gets immersed in water!! I'm not around a lot of water unless it's the shower or the...oh yea, better not wear it when I go potty...don't want to drop my MP3 player at the pool!!!

Well, that it for now. This week I'll be taking Miss Daisy on her usual jaunts and DH to get his colonoscopy on Thurs...whoo, whoo sounds like a busy week for the G!!! Have a great week and as usual, Peace out.


Linda in New Mexico said...

OMG, do you know how much I love you? LMAO. And I needed it too. Lady Gagya...I don't know pendeja, that's some serious right now stuff. You gotta check out Chigon on my blog. I mean I get Bon Jovi cuz you can drool while you're thinking about his gorgeous self but the Lady is a tramp.
Preggers.........geez, I almost had a shart of my own. What? Whew.
Call me when you're not doing the chauffeur thingie and let's get caught up.
vert word...chrifitr this is the word they were going to use in the movie Cloudy with a
Chance of Meatballs instead of fldsmfer. I'm just saying.....

Linda in New Mexico said...

the next vert word is too good to pass rico savy on the ocean Jacque Coustavy

Anne Huskey-Lockard said...

OMG!!!!First, I know no Spanish but it was pretty easy to figure out the description of the *shart*.....I'll have to remember that! LOL!!!
I sit and laugh at your misfortune, with the daughter episode and then the son and the music player...I should be ashamed but KNOW me Georgina! One MUST LAUGH at all the inappropriate times!!!
I have been very happy with the SanDisk products and will be anxious to hear how you like this new toy/necessity. I'd like to have one, but ya know....till I get the work DONE, nada dollars!
Take care!!! PLEASE! ;)


Anne Huskey-Lockard said...

LMAO!!!! I just figured out what Linda is doing with the "vert words".....oh.....TOO GOOD!
(yes, I am slow.....)

Anne...puddin' head

vert word: fetan
a futon to prop your feet on

Georgina said...

Crazy Linda and I sometimes exchange our words and put them into sentences...some of them are just a hoot, others, down right filthy, but catch us not coming up with something. Haven't had anything incredible lately, but then, I just started blogging again.

Linda, is that Chigon or Chingon???!?!?!? LOL

Anne, let's face it all my blog buddies, well, most of them, enjoy a good laugh at our misfortunes...isn't that what life's about, or one of the many things life's about. If you can't laugh at yourself or others, WTF!!! LOL

Glad you ladies enjoyed my snippets of my sometimes whacky life, must most of the time, just simple and understated!! NOT!!! hahahahaha!!!

Love ya ladies. Can you imagine if we all got together????!!!?!?!?!?! Save up for the bond money we'll need!!

yoborobo said...

Georgina! LOL! hahaha! You just kill me. You and your mom together are a riot. And TMI is right, mine does it to me, too. We have to start practicing so we can 'share' with our kids, too. HAHAH!!! Thank you for the giggles.
xoxo Pam

Tristan Robin Blakeman said...

shart? SHART?? SHART?!?!

you slay me.

glad you're back!

Deborah said...

I know some Spanglish living here in the desert! Your Mombie sounds adorable, shart pants and all. It was your BD??? I missed it??
Happy Happy Belated Birthday, my friend! **kisskiss** Deb

Mary Helen-Art Saves Lives said...

I am so glad you are back...I am not too sure how that music thingamagig works but maybe when I get out of the hospital and my balance back I will need music for my daily walks. I love your mother and her adventures...My Mother had irritable bowel also and were always in search for the nearest bathroom...we always told her we had to go just as bad as her :o) Imagine and Live in Peace, Mary Helen Fernandez Stewart

The Itsy Bitsy Spill said...



Anonymous said...

Oh my, what a week you have had. So pleased your sister isn't pregnant. Especially has she is so looking forward to having a little freedom.
Sounds like you have had lots of laughs and all about the ordinary great parts that life is made of.
I had such a big smile while reading your post.

Here's to life!



WingingIt said...

what a fun blog to read today...i have been in bed for three days now...and i am getting better...slowly...needed a good laugh..thanks
did get to se alice in wonderland before i got is great~~~and i love lady gaga you ever do pandora on your computer? free radio station that you make it...

Gloria said...

Hi Georgina. I was feeling a little down in the dumps and after reading this I feel great. You crack me up. Hey was it your BDay? If so, Happy Late Birthday my dear friend. Enjoy your daily walks and listening to music while you are doing so. Watch out for traffic of any kind. Have a great Wednesday.

Anonymous said...

Hi Georgina! My english is so bad and it's difficult understand all..., but I think you're so funny:) Thanks for your visits!!
Congrats for your Etsy shop, great stuff!

Mary Helen-Art Saves Lives said...

You are a a joy to my heart...I am still resting but I did have lunch with a dear friend and went to a small contemporary glass art exhibit nearby. The sun is shining and my crocuses are up and glorious! Imagine and Live in Peace, Mary Helen Fernandez Stewart

LMAO ???

yoborobo said...

Georgina - just stopping by to say howdy! Hope you are having a fabulous weekend full of sunshine, because we are NOT. :) The sun is coming this week, I can't wait!! happy Sunday xox Pam