Happy Unbirthday To Me

Can't seem to find my notebook with the list of interesting things I observed or partook during my hiatus. I do recall introducing my mother to the word, "shart!" She told me the other day as I was driving down her driveway, that she had some bowel problem. She's lactose intolerant and the combination of ice cream laced with Splenda, a lot of Splenda, and the cheese stix must have caused her problem. Kidding with her, I told her how much I love our little care and share moments, she then continued about her problem saying she went as far as having to change her underwear...ok, TMI, right? Nah, you know me and potty humour. I then told her she had done a "shart," and she had no idea what I was talking about so I enlightened her concerning the above word combination. Well, she laughed so hard, I told her to be careful or we would have to return home for her to change again!!! For those of my bloggy buddies who speak the Es-panich, we called that kind of gas, "!pedos acompaniados!" LOL

Another incident was a frantic call I got from my daughter earlier this week. She said she was pregnant, again! My gawd, I couldn't believe it!! She's on the birth control shot, she's still breast feeding and I think her husband is hearing a lot of "just say no!" So how could this be??!!?? Long story short, she has problems with ovarian cysts and after a long wait at the hospital and a sonogram, she had a cyst the size of a 9 week old fetus, sending out all those wonderful hormonal messages to her bod telling her she's knocked-up again, NOT!!! I can't tell you how we all were relived it was just a cyst and not a bebe. She wants more, but not right now. She was applying for teaching jobs when it hit her she needed to take a preggers test. Now this was an old test and was not in the box, so when she took the test, it gave her a positive reading, soon after followed with a smidgen of hysteria, calling her father and me, friends and finally a visit to the ER. So the girl calls me up on Thursday telling me she is a total moron! She was at the store when she saw the the box brand of the test she took. Turns out she read it wrong, no box remember, and she had misread the symbols thus complaining that she wasted $200 for nothing...yep, a big maroon

Well, now to my happy unbirthday gift for me, I decided I wanted something to celebrate having my life back...some would go out for a special meal or have that horribly decadent chocolate cheesecake or buy a diamond, etc., etc., etc. Since I will be going to the mall for daily walks, I wanted a musical devise to listen to my Lady Gaga and Bon Jovi music. My hubby bought me one after completing my B.A. 5 years ago, but now with this new fangle computer that has Windows 7, my MP3 player is a no go. Called these folks for help and it just wasn't going to happen unless I buy their drives for my hard drive....can you say, "stick it!" So I transferred money to my debit card, after I did a little research on what I could afford and met my standards, I drove down to Best Buy and bought myself one...an 8GB Sansa Fuze by SanDisk...my flash drive is the same brand, so I'm satisfied. I wanted to keep it under $100 and the product is, but then when the saleman suggested the 2 year warranty package, you know, protects you if you drop the bloody thing or have other little disasters with it. Before I could say anything my son, Ian, spoke up and said I am a royal clod and that I probably need that...going to send him to time out!! Plus, I remembered my poor cell phone with it's Rorschach blot on my front window...when I first dropped it, it looked like the Big Bang, but now it looks like a chicken on crack. So I gave in and bought the warranty...went over my limit, but now we're are both protected except if it gets immersed in water!! I'm not around a lot of water unless it's the shower or the...oh yea, better not wear it when I go potty...don't want to drop my MP3 player at the pool!!!

Well, that it for now. This week I'll be taking Miss Daisy on her usual jaunts and DH to get his colonoscopy on Thurs...whoo, whoo sounds like a busy week for the G!!! Have a great week and as usual, Peace out.