Memories

Good Morning all you wonderful blogger friends. I haven't been around much lately since I really haven't been my ol' self. It's getting to that time of year that reality is very busy knocking on my head. This time last year my Pop was still around, ill, but still with us. He was able to attend our Thanksgiving celebration at my brothers in Las Cruces, NM, right up the road from here. I remember driving my folks up and singing along with Frank Sinatra on the CD player...my dad loved to sing. When he was in the hospital a few weeks later, he began singing "YMCA" and we both laughed about that, then we proceeded to go into old show tunes...we were brought up with Broadway music. Anyway, that was the last family meal we had together.

My wonderful father passed away just a few weeks later on Dec. 19th, 2008. The photograph above was taken 6 days later on December 24, are usual family Christmas get-together. That night we all knew a family tradition was gone. One that we had celebrated since our births, including grandchildren and great-grandchildren. Our dad was the heart of the Diaz' gatherings and our heart was now gone....we felt lost. We knew things were going to change, perhaps the beginning of new traditions, but change was definitely in the air. I think it frightened us because this is all we knew our entire lives. Change can be so ominous, but we've always rolled with it and see where it takes us, usually better places, but how could it get better without my father?

This year, there will be great changes, my mother is going to Southern CA to visit with my little brother and his family, my sister and niece will stay put in Phoenix, AZ, I will be traveling to Austin, TX to be with my older 2 children and my grandsons. My brother, Fred, and his family haven't decided since we were going to celebrate CE at my mother's house, but now that I'm going to be out of town, he's undecided whether he wants to spend it at home, or maybe drive up to Phoenix to celebrate with my sister. I so wanted my youngest to go with me to see his siblings and nephews, but without going into too much detail, his father has objected to the fact that he would have to purchase the ticket since I told him that this was my Christmas gift from my husband and I couldn't afford it, but this wasn't about him traveling with me, this was about Ian being with his sibs. He and wifey apparently have been a huge sores on every one's buttocks since I announced I would be going to Austin to spend Christmas with OUR children and grandchildren. Originally I was going to have Ian for the entire month of Dec., and I still intend on having him for 4 weeks, there will be a small break between them, though. He's angry because he can't control me anymore and usually blames everyone else, me being the biggest and baddest bee-atch, and if he can't blame others, he admits to lose of memory...jerk!

My daughter is thrilled and we're talking about having the Mommy/Daughter bake-off when I arrive bringing along our traditional Christmas Eve Mexican tamales. My little guys are ecstatic and can't wait and my son-in-law is also very excited...he's a great guy, wonderful step dad and daddy!!

However, with this new adventure waiting for me, I'm still very sad about it all. Like a child, I want things to be the way they were, but as the adult, I realistically know that's not going to happen. I'm keeping an open mind and looking forward to spending this holiday with my children, sadly, minus Ian and my hubby, but the hubby is going to Chicago to visit with his daughter and our sweet, adorable Aiden. I just wish I could win the lottery and take my son, but don't you have to play the lottery to in order to win????? LOL Well, I've rambled enough and I don't know if I feel any better, but it was good to mark these feeling with words. Peace out.