Sunday, January 10, 2010

Birthday Parties

Yesterday we went to our grandson's birthday party. It seemed every 7 year old in the world was there, but we're glad he's very popular and has many friends...oey. I sat and watched with amazement at these young mothers and their children and thought to myself, "Yikes, that was me at one time!" It seems like a million years ago, but I can recall the excitement of the planning and buying little trinkets for gift bags, and the gift bags...wow, I was one of those "stupor"women that made my own bags...yep, sewed them up and even stenciled them or did some really cutsie thing.

My kids had themed parties....yes, I was that kind of crazy Mom that everyone hated (I can feel and hear you all rolling your eyeballs and saying to yourselves that you knew mothers like me and despised their perky little selves!!). Well, I wasn't that perky.... I decided one year that I would engage the two teenage girls up the street to plan my two kids birthday party (Ian wasn't even a gleam in his father's eye yet), since I didn't want to bother. They planned the whole thing; we went out and bought favours, picked the cake and everything 5 and 7 year old kids would like. At the time I could still get away with teaming the parties up since they were both born in September and just their birthdays were just a couple of weeks apart (Ian was also born in Sept...seemed December was that extremely magical, fertile time for me...I was the Christmas Ho..LOL). It was the best idea I ever had, but there was one flaw, I served wine to the adults...bad, bad, bad decision!!!

I don't remember much after the pinata, but I was told everyone had a great time, thanks to Mickie and Michelle. I recall my neighbor was holding my head as I extracted M&M's, nuts, birthday cake, hot dogs, chips and wine from my body. Now that's a true friend!!! LOL What was really embarrassing, so I assume, was that many of these children, the kindergarten variety, were from my daughter's school, a very nice Southern Baptist institution!!! It was the mother's of the public school variety that really enjoyed themselves!!! Let's hear it for public schools and the wonderful adult volunteer program!!!! Oh well, never did that again.

Then there was the slumber party that I had for my daughter, age 12. OMG, NEVER AGAIN!!! I kept my word on that one. Get 10, prepubescent, premenstrual females and put them in the same living room while the birthday girl's mom and dad are dying in their bedroom with food poisoning...makes for a great time!! Of course there were politics prior to the party. Not all the little girls in her class were invited, especially the popular girl (major brown noser) and she was very upset. My daughter asked me if she should invite her and I being fair told her not only no, but hell no!!! The kid never gave my daughter the time of day but now wanted to be part of the BFF club!!! You know the type. Well, she invited her anyway and the girl brought her some really lamo gift....big surprise...looked like a royal re-gift to me.

Anywhooo, the night was filled with all kinds of drama, my daughter running to her room and locking herself in because someone said something nasty about her and someone ratted on this kid, another little girl ran out of the house in tears, running home, and yet another came down with her period, first time too....Lord, what a night!! The next morning after everything had calmed down including my stomach (cleared that Little Caesar's Pizza in no time) I took orders for McDonald breakfast meals. You should have heard these little be-atches...especially the so called popular one!! I finally told them they were going to get plain meals and if they didn't like it, to enjoy breakfast at home when their parents came to pick them up. So the party came to an end, praise God, and I was never so glad to see them leave, including my daughter who stayed in her bedroom with her loot for most of the day. It was months before I cleared the living room of M&Ms hiding in small, dark corners and under cushions.

So as I watched these brave young mothers tend to their precious little ones with Cheeto laced smiles, mustard stained party clothes, listening to little girls talking about which boy they liked, and wiping tears away due to lost hot dogs that hit the ground before they could get a bun and pinata remnants in their hands and all over the backyard. I told these mothers to just let the kids take the papered parts home and then disappear during the night...with a little note, "Gone to pinata heaven...xxxooo, Sponge Bob's Eyeball." Is humour dead among these mommies or are they taking this all too seriously...the only one that laughed was my honey!! They looked at me as if I were growing lobsters out my ears!!!

Again, I was amazed at all these little stories developing around me and what a great blog it would make for today!! Hence, the topic and subject matter about children's birthday parties . You ask if I miss it, NO WAY!!! Glad to be the observer and story teller of such tales. Oh this is just a side, and totally off the subject, but my stepdaughter's ex-boyfriend is on the most wanted list in El Paso. Glad she broke up with him!! Peace out.

19 comments:

YayaOrchid said...

Ah, yes! The memories of parenting! Seems like only yesterday, right? But here we are Grandmas in all our wisdom and glory, LOL! I think what's neat is how some things never really change...like the parties and trying to come up with ideas to make the perfect celebration. I am certain you enjoyed yourself a lot at your Grandbabies' parties.

BTW, I think your profile pic is so nice! You're photogenic, my friend!

Georgina said...

Oh thank you...was taken a few years ago in front of a very trendy, expensive little furniture shop in SoHo during my first visit to NYC. The dog is Max...my dear friend's granddoggie!!! The only thing I could afford in that store was sitting on the chair made of quarters and take my picture!!LOL

Anne Huskey-Lockard said...

Georgina, you have given me all the answers to the occasional questions, Should I have had children????
I have laughed myself stupid (plus I'm on pain pills, so it's not a long trip!!!) and I'm telling you, you are the Erma Bombeck of the rockin' cool moms!!! WRITE THIS STUFF TO KEEP!!!
These stories are too good to not make it further out into the world!
Love you crazy woman!!!

XXOO!!
Anne

P.S. my verification word is *beanchoi*.......is this the French version of *Beaners*???? LOL!!!

Georgina said...

Oui!! LOL Anne, I started writing a book about my experience with my son...unfortunately, I never backed it up, so I'm back to square one. Oh well, was just the first few pages of Chapter 1 and that was about his birth and I surely remember that day!!! No epidural for this girl...no drugs with all of them!! It wasn't because I wanted to feel the wonderful PAIN of childbirth, that sh**t never worked on me or they didn't give me enough juice.

My ceramics prof one day was showing us the results of self-made plaster molds. In his excitement, he told us opening up the mold to see the result was like giving birth!!! Right! One lady spoke up and asked if it hurt and I asked him did it felt like shoving a baby grand piano out your nose???!?!?!?!?! He then used another metaphor!!! LOLOLOLOL

Gloria said...

Georgina, what I like about you and Linda's blog is that you are both such talented writers on your family life. There is always something to enjoy when I come here. Yes I too remember those puberty days, Ayeeeeeee! Let me outta there. I'm glad I am now in the best years of my life as are you. Have a great Sunday. Take care.

oldblackcatboo said...

I enjoyed your story - like always!
Makes me glad that I am an "AUNT"!
I swear little girls and their cliches can be SO EVIL!!
That little "popular" girl is now probably a miserable woman.
Hey you! because of your post about the word "verifications" I can't type in ONE without thinking about you and what that word probably REALLY means! Ha! Ha!
And guess what I FINALLY finished one of my "dolls"! It's a miracle! LOL! Anyway gotta go for now and finish the rest.
Take care Funny Lady!
PS = the word is "wawinthe" is that "what a winter" with a speech impediment?

Linda in New Mexico said...

You know Georgie girl, you da bomb. I remember some very interesting parties myself...we'll do a share on those someday too. I just love that you are back. It warn't the same without you.
The word is benst. I done benst over touched ma toes and blue out my jeans. Musta been another one of those terrible gang accidents. One eyed beaners, whatsa matter with her?
By the say Gloria, you have fabulous taste darling.

Sophia said...

I've not yet had the opportunity to be a parent, yet. (I do love children!) :) I love celebrating the holidays/birthdays with my niece and nephew, but they are far too few, sad to say. Glad to see that you had a good time! :)

yoborobo said...

Georgina - to say you are a hoot would be an understatement. LOL! I can remember many, many kid birthday parties, where in the end I was praying everyone would just go home and I could have peace and QUIET. It was fun then, but I was much younger, and much more tolerant. :) You are a funny lady, my friend!! xo Pam

Fabby Dolls said...

Very funny! I also have an Ian....no more themed parties - kids are 15, 15 (yes - twins!) and 17. Thanks for sharing your very funny story!

The Itsy Bitsy Spill said...

Georgina!

Hey you, it's been a while and I'm catching up saying hello to all my bloggy friends!! here I am taking a break from my studio, dead beat though but a good tired.

You are sure the coolest rockin woman around. And you always bring a smile always a good laughter.

un beso para ti como siempre

Deborah said...

Oh I have the exact same memories of the parties!!! And I WAS that hyper over achiever Martha mom! Sometimes I think back on all the things I did and made, and am quite amazed at That Woman and wonder where she went...oh ya, she had the life sucked out of her by little ones! Do them again; never. Help with the grandkids; looking forward to that! **happy smiles** Deb

Gloria said...

Georgina, I just wanted to thank you for stopping by my blog and wishing me a HB. I do appreciate it and your friendship. Take care.

Tristan Robin Blakeman said...

(1) wonderfully amusing post

(2) thank GOD I don't have kids

Artgalcrafts said...

Hi G
just have to post to you after seeing you in Deborahs blog.
Because my name is Georgina too, altho I mainly use
Elizabeth, some very old friends even call me Bette!as I was as a child.
So there you are, Whats in a name?.
Never really liked the G name until I have got older and it has a nice ring to it now.
Your discourse on the kiddies parties, reminds me of my own children and more recently the G/C ones. They did all that and like you I now just like to be an observer, so glad kiddies still have that lovely time in their lives where everything is fantasy and nothing is real. There is time enough for reality.Love to you from G. E. XXX

Artgalcrafts said...

Hi G
just have to post to you after seeing you in Deborahs blog.
Because my name is Georgina too, altho I mainly use
Elizabeth, some very old friends even call me Bette!as I was as a child.
So there you are, Whats in a name?.
Never really liked the G name until I have got older and it has a nice ring to it now.
Your discourse on the kiddies parties, reminds me of my own children and more recently the G/C ones. They did all that and like you I now just like to be an observer, so glad kiddies still have that lovely time in their lives where everything is fantasy and nothing is real. There is time enough for reality.Love to you from G. E. XXX

Artgalcrafts said...

Hi G
just have to post to you after seeing you in Deborahs blog.
Because my name is Georgina too, altho I mainly use
Elizabeth, some very old friends even call me Bette!as I was as a child.
So there you are, Whats in a name?.
Never really liked the G name until I have got older and it has a nice ring to it now.
Your discourse on the kiddies parties, reminds me of my own children and more recently the G/C ones. They did all that and like you I now just like to be an observer, so glad kiddies still have that lovely time in their lives where everything is fantasy and nothing is real. There is time enough for reality.Love to you from G. E. XXX

Artgalcrafts said...

Hi G
just have to post to you after seeing you in Deborahs blog.
Because my name is Georgina too, altho I mainly use
Elizabeth, some very old friends even call me Bette!as I was as a child.
So there you are, Whats in a name?.
Never really liked the G name until I have got older and it has a nice ring to it now.
Your discourse on the kiddies parties, reminds me of my own children and more recently the G/C ones. They did all that and like you I now just like to be an observer, so glad kiddies still have that lovely time in their lives where everything is fantasy and nothing is real. There is time enough for reality.Love to you from G. E. XXX

Tracy M. said...

OMG, so funny! I have to confess I am glad I didn't have girls. I didn't like most of them when I was one at that age, all the drama and cattiness, ugh.
Yea people are way too serious about their kids now a days. They are ruining them with everything having to be perfect and fair.
Take Care,
Tracy M.