Birthday Parties

Yesterday we went to our grandson's birthday party. It seemed every 7 year old in the world was there, but we're glad he's very popular and has many friends...oey. I sat and watched with amazement at these young mothers and their children and thought to myself, "Yikes, that was me at one time!" It seems like a million years ago, but I can recall the excitement of the planning and buying little trinkets for gift bags, and the gift bags...wow, I was one of those "stupor"women that made my own bags...yep, sewed them up and even stenciled them or did some really cutsie thing.

My kids had themed parties....yes, I was that kind of crazy Mom that everyone hated (I can feel and hear you all rolling your eyeballs and saying to yourselves that you knew mothers like me and despised their perky little selves!!). Well, I wasn't that perky.... I decided one year that I would engage the two teenage girls up the street to plan my two kids birthday party (Ian wasn't even a gleam in his father's eye yet), since I didn't want to bother. They planned the whole thing; we went out and bought favours, picked the cake and everything 5 and 7 year old kids would like. At the time I could still get away with teaming the parties up since they were both born in September and just their birthdays were just a couple of weeks apart (Ian was also born in Sept...seemed December was that extremely magical, fertile time for me...I was the Christmas Ho..LOL). It was the best idea I ever had, but there was one flaw, I served wine to the adults...bad, bad, bad decision!!!

I don't remember much after the pinata, but I was told everyone had a great time, thanks to Mickie and Michelle. I recall my neighbor was holding my head as I extracted M&M's, nuts, birthday cake, hot dogs, chips and wine from my body. Now that's a true friend!!! LOL What was really embarrassing, so I assume, was that many of these children, the kindergarten variety, were from my daughter's school, a very nice Southern Baptist institution!!! It was the mother's of the public school variety that really enjoyed themselves!!! Let's hear it for public schools and the wonderful adult volunteer program!!!! Oh well, never did that again.

Then there was the slumber party that I had for my daughter, age 12. OMG, NEVER AGAIN!!! I kept my word on that one. Get 10, prepubescent, premenstrual females and put them in the same living room while the birthday girl's mom and dad are dying in their bedroom with food poisoning...makes for a great time!! Of course there were politics prior to the party. Not all the little girls in her class were invited, especially the popular girl (major brown noser) and she was very upset. My daughter asked me if she should invite her and I being fair told her not only no, but hell no!!! The kid never gave my daughter the time of day but now wanted to be part of the BFF club!!! You know the type. Well, she invited her anyway and the girl brought her some really lamo gift....big surprise...looked like a royal re-gift to me.

Anywhooo, the night was filled with all kinds of drama, my daughter running to her room and locking herself in because someone said something nasty about her and someone ratted on this kid, another little girl ran out of the house in tears, running home, and yet another came down with her period, first time too....Lord, what a night!! The next morning after everything had calmed down including my stomach (cleared that Little Caesar's Pizza in no time) I took orders for McDonald breakfast meals. You should have heard these little be-atches...especially the so called popular one!! I finally told them they were going to get plain meals and if they didn't like it, to enjoy breakfast at home when their parents came to pick them up. So the party came to an end, praise God, and I was never so glad to see them leave, including my daughter who stayed in her bedroom with her loot for most of the day. It was months before I cleared the living room of M&Ms hiding in small, dark corners and under cushions.

So as I watched these brave young mothers tend to their precious little ones with Cheeto laced smiles, mustard stained party clothes, listening to little girls talking about which boy they liked, and wiping tears away due to lost hot dogs that hit the ground before they could get a bun and pinata remnants in their hands and all over the backyard. I told these mothers to just let the kids take the papered parts home and then disappear during the night...with a little note, "Gone to pinata heaven...xxxooo, Sponge Bob's Eyeball." Is humour dead among these mommies or are they taking this all too seriously...the only one that laughed was my honey!! They looked at me as if I were growing lobsters out my ears!!!

Again, I was amazed at all these little stories developing around me and what a great blog it would make for today!! Hence, the topic and subject matter about children's birthday parties . You ask if I miss it, NO WAY!!! Glad to be the observer and story teller of such tales. Oh this is just a side, and totally off the subject, but my stepdaughter's ex-boyfriend is on the most wanted list in El Paso. Glad she broke up with him!! Peace out.